New York - Democrats, meeting here Saturday for a fifth and final regional caucus to decide who might head their party, were forced to face a harsh reality: they have no balls.
“I think it’s safe to say we’re lacking in testicles,” said former presidential candidate John Kerry, appearing on Meet The Press Sunday. “I mean, [...]
Washington - The Bush administration isn’t ready to give up on the nouns “awe” and “shock,” even while admitting the words have not lived up to initial administration expectations.
With elections in Iraq just a day away, a new poll of administration officials finds confidence in the nouns holding steady at a robust 88%. The findings [...]
Washington - The universe suddenly imploded this morning when President Bush attempted to use addition to prove the validity of his private investment plan for Social Security.
At approximately 10:50 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, the president began a sentence with the phrase, “As dictated by just math.” An intergalactic shift immediately occurred. When the president continued, [...]
Washington - Secretary of State nominee Condoleezza Rice was en route to her own Senate confirmation hearing when she realized she didn’t have something. “I looked around me, and it was one of those, ‘Oh, gosh, where is it’ moments,” Rice said, following the conclusion of the first day of hearings. “I checked my purse, [...]
Washington - “I have a dream, too,” President Bush, addressing a crowd gathered at a ceremony honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said today. “And my dream is that no little child be victimized by the wanton presence of Judaism, and by the absence of the Lord Jesus Christ our savior in their lives.”
And with [...]
Washington - Not since 1969 has such a spirit of openness been present in American society. Reflecting that spirit, several legendary performers will delight fans and protesters at the Inaugural of Love, a free concert to usher in President Bush’s second term, already being dubbed, “The Winter of Love.”
Santana, Joan Baez, Crosby, Stills & Nash [...]
Little Rock, Arkansas - Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. chief executive Lee Scott is out to bolster the image of the gigantic company, having launched a series of print ads intended to point up positive attributes of the chain.
“There are lots of positives. Restrooms, for example,” Scott said, speaking by phone. “We offer air, water, the freedom [...]
Clinton Township, Michigan - President Bush spoke at a performing arts center here in Clinton Township today to shine a light on the growing plague threatening the very heart of our society and shared way of life: asbestos litigation.
Leaving behind secondary concerns like the war in Iraq and a struggling economy, the president boldly stated [...]
