Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
Bush OKs Free Speech in Designated Guarded Areas
The Secret Service is investigating the removal of three people from a town hall meeting with President George W. Bush regarding Social Security here in Denver last week.
Entries from March 2005
Monday, March 28th, 2005
Jesus: You Guys Fucking Suck
God’s son Jesus appeared before a small group of reporters in an impromptu press conference on the corners of Lafayette and Bleeker streets in Manhattan’s Greenwich Village on Easter Sunday, and took the opportunity to reprimand the human race.
Friday, March 25th, 2005
DeLay Solders Church and State Together in Midnight Ceremony
Any traces of a meeting in these woods last night, allegedly held to commemorate the coming official uniting of church and state, were apparently wiped away before daybreak.
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
Bush to Save World, Drill It For Oil
The U.S. Senate voted 51-49 to approve oil drilling in an Alaskan wildlife refuge.
Saturday, March 12th, 2005
President Still Best at “Pick an Awful Nominee”
President Bush’s streak of picking nominees with precisely the opposite qualifications than what are needed for their respective posts is alive and well.
Thursday, March 10th, 2005
Nader Enters Fifth Grade Student Council Election
Akron, Ohio - Former presidential candidate Ralph Nader entered Arondale Elementary School’s fifth grade student council elections Wednesday, then quickly jumped ahead of the former front-runner, ten-year-old Timmy Madigan. In an instant tracking poll taken Wednesday afternoon, Nader led Madigan by 82 points.
“What can I say,” the 2000 Green Party candidate said. “The kids love [...]
