The National Protrusion

Washington – Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke cut the amount his children receive in allowance from him and his wife Anna by .75 percent. The move sparked outrage on the part of the children, Joel and Alyssa, who are both in their 20s. Bernanke said it was time the rate was lowered.

“These kids are well into adulthood now,” Bernanke said, speaking by telephone. “I think it’s more than reasonable to reduce the rate they receive in allowance.”

But Joel, 26, and the older of the two Bernanke children, disagreed. “He’s just on this whole ‘cut everything’ kick because he’s head of the Fed or whatever. ‘Ooh, yeah, I can cut this too. Watch me cut things. I can cut the grass, I can cut my hair. Ooh, I’m so cool.’ He makes me sick.”