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All Posts Ever:

• Bill That Would Result in Death of Majority of Americans Falls Three Votes Short in Senate
• New Hampshire Residents Terrified Rick Santorum Might Try to Connect with Them Personally
• NYPD Officers Pepper-Spray One Another at Annual Retreat
• Hackers Break into Congressional Computer System, Balance Budget
• Absurd Amount of Puns Available in Weiner Fiasco Disturbs Comedians
• Shenk 5-17-11
• If You’re Done Killing Bin Laden, There’s a New Video for You
• Shenk 4-25-11 and a New Website to Visit Over and Over Again
• Shenk and Me – 4-20-11
• Shenk and Me – 4-18-11
• Shenk and Me – The Times Paywall
• U.S. Sets Record for Most Muslim Countries Invaded Simultaneously
• Nuclear Energy Completely Safe, Say Men Who Make Money from Nuclear Energy
• Shenk and Me – Unnamed Sources Part 3
• Shenk and Me – Unnamed Sources Part 2
• Shenk and Me – Unnamed Sources Part 1
• Shenk and Me – Episode 2
• Shenk and Me Episode 1
• John Galt Living in Government-Assisted Housing Paid for by Medicaid
• Dow Jones Industrial Average Means Everything to Unemployed Man
• Atlantic Ocean Prices Rise to $2.79 per Gallon
• Congressman Voting His Conscience, or Whatever That’s Called
• Unmanned Drone Put in Charge of War in Afghanistan
• Palin Pens Exquisite, Nuanced Facebook Update
• Terrorist Smuggles Entire al-Qaeda Training Class Aboard Flight to U.S.
• NightNite – Military Spending vs. Domestic Spending
• Obama’s Afghanistan Troop Decision – NPN
• Should Terror Suspects be Tried in U.S. Courts? – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
• Abortion to Receive Govt. Funding Only When Two or More Women Might Die
• Illegal Immigrant Will Take Over as Host of ‘Lou Dobbs Tonight’
• Death Panel Rules Palin be Tweeted to Death
• Tea Partiers Mistakenly Kill Man Named Bill
• Senator Hopes to Give Corporations More Rights than Gay Couples
• Illegal Immigrants Not Entitled to Health
• Karzai Replaced with Actual Puppet
• My First WordPress Theme
• Olympia Snowe Leaving ‘Gang of Six’ to Pursue Solo Career
• Al Qaeda Begins Fall Fund Drive
• Wall Street Posts Strong Gains on Knowledge it Can Do Whatever the Fuck it Wants
• Study: Most Sick Americans Will be Dead by the Time Health Care Bill Passes
• Creationist Archaeologists Uncover Remains of First Evolution-Denier
• Supreme Court Rules Altruism Unconstitutional
• Democrats, Republicans Confident They Can Get Something Awful to the President Soon
• Experts: Giant Death Ray Likely Not Meant for Research
• Iran Will Only Meet with U.S. if U.S. Representatives Get Nothing to Drink
• The Pointy Point: Investigate the CIA?
• Sources: Grassley May Be Biased Against Public Health Plan Because He’s Already Dead
• Insurance Industry Executives Negotiate Health Care Bill While Senate Is On Vacation
• Health Care Legislation: Is It Going to Choke You to Death?
• Sorry, Everybody!
• New Jersey Officials Arrested in FBI Sting Operation
• Senate Narrowly Votes Down Gun Measure
• Should Congress Delay its Summer Recess?
• The Mack Truck’s Call of the Day: Health Care Legislation
• Walter Cronkite Dies at 92; Practiced ‘Journalism’
• Paulson Admits Pressuring Bank of America on Merrill Deal
• Sotomayor Hearings Continue, with Pointed Questions
• Obama Meets with Bank Executives to Ask for Better Pin Number
• [Audio] Report: Civilians in Other Countries Like Us Less When We Kill Several Hundred of Them for No Reason
• California Cancels 2010
• Rahm Emanuel Quietly Strangles Cleaning Woman Who Saw Classified Documents
• The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show – Sonia Sotomayor
• U.S. Test-Fires Long-Range Rhetoric
• Announcing The National Protrusion.com Blogs
• Obama Names Larry Brillstein Secretary of Panic
• Obama Tells Graduates to Lower Expectations
• Murder Suspect Starts Website, Makes Video, Asks for Coffee
• Consumer Self-Confidence at All-Time Low
• Pelosi Has Not Returned From Meeting at CIA Headquarters
• Obama Fails to Keep Country Safe From Dick Cheney
• Guantanamo Detainee Suggests Moving Guantanamo Detainees to Ramada Inn
• Murder Suspect Calls Police to Ask if He’s a Murder Suspect
• Senator Shitonface Urges Passage of Name-Change Legislation
• Biden Keeps Challenging World Leaders to Arm-Wrestle
• Obama Lobs Fruit at Geithner During White House Budget Meeting
• CIA to Begin Underwater-Only Interrogations
• New ‘Belittler’ Computer Worm Insults Personal Data
• Looks Like You’ve Stepped in the Merde Now, Mr. President
• Bin Laden Tweets 140-Character Fatwa
• Bernanke Testifies That Ben Bernanke is Pretty Sick of Testifying
• What This Economy Needs is to Win the Lottery
• Obama Announces He’s Waiting till Sweeps Week to Fix Economy
• Ask Congress: The AIG Bonuses
• Treasury: Okay, Who’s Good With Numbers?
• Alberto Gonzales Discovered Living on Pine Cones in White House Storage Shed
• Miscommunicated Talking Points Cause Republicans to Condemn ‘Hairless Spending’
• CIA: U.S. No Longer Under Threat From VHS Tapes
• My Mother and Father Must Start Lending Again
• Obama Asks Biden How $10 Million for Skittles Got Into Budget
• Jerome Calls for National Jerome Awareness Week
• Capitol Janitor Hoping Some Stimulus Money Falls on Floor
• Republicans Propose ‘Infiniti Stimulus Package’ for the Already Wealthy
• Senator Refuses to Attend Scary Nighttime Sessions
• Senator Finds Rahm Emanuel Waiting For Him in Darkened Parking Garage
• Republicans Filibuster Democrats’ Lunch Plans
• Hundreds of Jobs Created in Field of Counting Unemployed
• GOP Bill Would Eliminate Middle Class Income Tax by Eliminating Middle Class Income
• Republicans Warn of Giant Government Attacking Populace with Contraceptives
• Why Are There Still Problems, Mr. Problem Eraser?
• Obama Considers Selling Biden to Japan for Cash and Goods
• Scalia and Thomas Perform ‘Who’s On First?’ at Local Auditorium
• Bush Leaves Country ‘Awesome’ Mix Tape
• Obama vs. Kiefer Sutherland – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey
• Biden Pushing for Inaugural Moon Bounce
• Bush Joins Obama Team as White House Handyman
• Banned From Facebook – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
• The Best of 2008
• Wherein I Attempt a Live Broadcast via UStream
• White House Christmas: Cheney Gives Enriched Uranium Again
• The Henry “Mack Truck Harvey Show Live – Tonight 10PM Pacific
• Ladies and Gentlemen, the Blogosphere Just Got a Little More Crowded
• Bush Asks to Be Graded on a Curve
• Gay Marriage – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
• Bush Won’t Come Out of Cardboard Box Fort [White House Press Briefing]
• Obama Asking Himself Who Would Be The Most Hilarious CIA Director
• Cheney Refuses to Set Timetable for Withdrawal from White House
• Country Decides Toothpaste Makes Great Christmas Gift
• Palin’s Rating Among Moose, Wolves Has Plummeted
• [Audio] Paulson Suggests Allocating $35 Billion of Rescue Funds To Henry Paulson
• CEOs Say They May Have to Cut Back on Hookers and Blow
• HMTHS – Henry Goes to Therapy
• [Audio] Senator: I’m Fairly Certain I Didn’t Hack That Girl to Pieces
• Cheney Asks if He Can Be Secretary of Evil
• Election Reaction – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
• [Audio] Americans Hoping to Be Cynical Again Soon
• Cheney Vows to Remain in Secret White House Cave-Chamber Throughout Obama’s Tenure
• Sarah Palin Offers Husband Todd to GOP in Bizarre Sacrificial Ceremony
• Bush Asks Obama if He Can Keep “Some of the Really Good Pens”
• Smart Man Elected Somehow
• McCain Buys 3 Seconds of Air Time on Food Network
• Palin Pushes McCain Out of Campaign Plane
• Is Obama Really Visiting His Sick Grandmother? – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey
• Bush Unlikely to Get White House Security Deposit Back
• McCain Hurls Bob Schieffer at Obama
• The Troopergate Report – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey
• McCain Wanders Off Debate Stage and Into Undergraduate Physics Lecture
• Couric to Palin: Do You Know We’re Recording This?
• Bush to Nation: You Will All Be Poor by Friday
• Palin: This Financial Situation Needs a Good Scrubbin’ and a Cleanin’
• Biden Quits Race Because He Can’t See Russia From Delaware
• Sarah Palin Ain’t No Pig in Lipstick – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
• McCain’s Sarah Palin Bounce and Aerial Wolf Hunting – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
• I’m In Love With You, Sarah Palin – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey
• Bristol Palin’s Pregnancy – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey
• How McCain Should Respond to Obama Speech – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey
• Democrappic Convention Night Three – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey
• Democrappic Convention Night Two – Clinton’s Speech – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey
• Democrappic National Convention Night One – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey
• McCain’s Homes – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
• Russia and Georgia – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
• Edwards: I Only Slept with Kucinich Once
• Gonzales Shows Up at Justice Department Dressed as Mukasey
• [Audio] Top General Not Sure About Troops, But Surge in His Pants Working Like Gangbusters
• In Lab Tests, Anthrax Spores Die When Exposed to Cheney
• Conyers Sends Rove Singing Subpoena-Gram
• Oh, I’m Sorry, Mr. Obama, I Didn’t Realize You Were Running For President of Germany
• Bush Asks NASA Engineers to Transport Him Back to 2002
• Exxon Mobil Vows to Reduce Nation’s Dependence on Other Companies’ Oil
• Bush Finally Reads Job Description
• Between You and Me, Scalia and Thomas Are Fat Assholes
• Gonzales Keeps Prank-Calling White House
• Democrats Promise Not to Make Noise While Republicans Are Working
• McCain Invades Iran Himself
• McCain Opposes Newest McCain Proposal
• New FISA Bill Grants Cheney Unlimited Use of Your Cell Phone
• Gay Couples Marry, Prepare to Invade
• Bush Tries to Shore Up Legacy by Performing Piccolo Concerts
• Bush Wakes From ‘Crazy Dream’ Where He Was President For Seven and a Half Years
• McCain Hires Anti-Lobby Lobbying Firm
• Report: Administration Misled in Run-up to Lying
• Obama Admits He Loves to Appease in His Spare Time
• Bush Vows to Finish ‘She’s Come Undone’ by End of Term
• Clinton Will Accept VP Spot If She Can Be President Most of the Time
• New DOJ Memo Gives Bush Authority to Torture Harry Reid
• Obama: Crazy Pastors Just Seem to Love Me
• Maverick McCain Orders Tuna Salad When Everyone Else is Getting Turkey
• Clinton: You’ll Have to Kill Me
• Thousands Offer to Return Stimulus Checks if Bush Will Leave Office Early
• Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey – Obama, Appeasement and Iran
• Depressed Congressman Tries to Veto His Own Bill
• Barney Regularly Consulted on Foreign Policy Matters
• Rove Searching for New Unqualified Politician to Work With
• McCain Thinks Everyone at Town Hall Meeting is Robert Downey, Jr.
• Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey – John Hagee vs. Jeremiah Wright
• Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show – Socialized Medicine
• Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show – McCain and Oil
• Hi! I’m Just Like You, Except I’m a Millionaire, a Senator and an ex-First Lady, and You’re None of Those Things
• Bush Offers Nation Change from Floor of Car
• Premiere of Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show – Obama’s Supporters
• Maybe I’m Confusing People With This Message of Hope
• Clinton Campaign Unveils New Strategy For Counting Pledged Delegates
• ABC to Air Debate Between Flag Lapel Pin, Jeremiah Wright Quotes
• Clinton: I’ll Kill Bin Laden With My Bare Hands
• Audio: Pope Benedict XVI Strikes Out 9, Walks 2 in Yankee Stadium Debut
• Bush Calls for Creation of New Greenhouse Gases
• Gonzales Urges Local Subway to Implement Enhanced Sandwich-Making Techniques
• McCain Vows to Defeat Nazis and Japanese in Iraq
• Chinese Govt. to Add Caning Competition to Olympic Games
• Al Qaeda Would Love Your E-mails to Remain Private
• Delta to Offer Discount Seating on Wings
• From the Archives: President to Outline Plan to Outline Plan
• From the Archives: Bush Threatens Veto Unless Reid and Pelosi Can Guess How Many Fingers He’s Holding Up
• From the Archives: President Announces National Mediocre Spelling Week
• From the Archives: Straight Idiots Free to Marry, Reproduce at Will
• From the Archives: Bush, Putin Make Out, Fight, Make Out
• Clinton Ahead, If You Count Delegates Pledged in Her Mind
• CIA Inadvertently Destroys Two Senators
• Bush Asks History to Preemptively Pardon Him
• Clinton Points Up Fighter Pilot Experience
• Bin Laden: You Will Pay for The Terrible ‘Garfield’ from Last Monday
• Cheney Embarks on Target-Finding Mission
• Bernanke Cuts Children’s Allowance .75%
• Bush Urges Nation to Wait for Rich Uncle to Call and Offer Large Cash Gift
• Study Finds Lifelong Link Between Bush, Flawed Intelligence
• Clinton Challenges Obama to Cage Match
• U.S. to Stay on Offense Against Terror Until War is Won, or Until It Gets Very Tired
• Cheney Appoints Special Envoy to Dessert Tray
• Congress Convenes to Discuss Possibly Doing Something About Things
• Navy Shoots Down Errant Butterfly
• Russert Detains Obama for Further Questioning
• White House Task Force on Curiosity to Investigate Possible Inquisitiveness
• CIA Official Was Sure Someone Had Transferred Tapes to DVD
• Bush’s Location Undisclosed to Bush
• Chertoff Warns of Al Qaeda’s Increased Loveliness
• Clinton Accuses Obama of Winning
• Trust Me, You Don’t Want Me Reaching Across the Aisle
• FDA Orders Recall of Thousands of Tainted Beefcakes
• Detainee’s High-Value Status Doesn’t Prevent Him From Being Beaten While Naked
• Republican Congressman Suggests Simulated Drowning of Pelosi
• Rice Traded to France for a Functionary To Be Named Later
• Bush Announces Formation of Ends Justify The Ways and Means Committee
• Decorator of the Interior Testifies He Wants to Just Burn Those Hideous Drapes Right Now
• FBI Almost Certain Bin Laden Not Hiding in FBI Building
• Department of Education Folded Into Department of Defense
• Bush to School Children: You’re All in Grave Danger
• Congress Convenes Extra-Special Session
• Romney Vows Continued Handsomeness
• White House Spokesman Has Recurring Dream of Chandelier Falling on Helen Thomas
• Congressman Tries to Sneak Through Bill Entitling Him to All of Nation’s Chocolate
• White House Proposes Immediate Withdrawal From Responsibility
• Bush Delivers State of the Union Address in Iambic Pentameter
• Bush to Give Union Back to British
• Rumsfeld Holds Imaginary Press Conference in Basement
• Many In Bush’s Cabinet Coming To Meetings Just For Pizza
• Fred Thompson Admits He Died Several Months Ago
• Bush Orders Destruction of Economy
• Congress Pledges Swift, Meaningless Action
• Harry Reid Arrested for Flashing His Stimulus Package
• Fred Thompson Elected President of His Imagination
• Attempting to Cry, Giuliani Vomits on Several Undecided Voters
• The National Protrusion is Sort of Liveblogging the ABC New Hampshire Debates
• Clinton Vows to Pretend to Fight Status Quo
• I Want To See More Women At The Polls, Preferably Without Clothing
• NBC to Air “Can These Color Bars Last An Hour?” Wednesday Nights
• Terrorist Disappointed His Amazon.com Search for Cesium-137 Returns No Results
• Ahmadinejad Demands U.S. Give Him Moist Piece of Cake
• Cheney: Yoga Has Changed My Life
• Bush Announces Plan to Nap For Remainder of Term
• Edwards Slashes Clinton’s Tires
• White House: We Don’t Torture, Unless by Torture You Mean Drowning, Beating to Death with Sticks or Suffocation
• Bush: I Gave a Poor Child a Sandwich Once
• Bush Threatens Veto Unless Reid and Pelosi Can Guess How Many Fingers He’s Holding Up
• Forgetting Human Disguise, Giuliani Appears On Stage as Giant Reptile
• Moveon.org Kills 17 U.S. Troops
• President Attempts to Distract Country With Puppet Show
• Top General: I Don’t Know About the Troops, But The Surge in My Pants is Working Like Gangbusters
• Senator: I’m Fairly Certain I Didn’t Hack That Girl to Pieces
• Ari Fleischer Settling In To New Role As Professional Asshole
• Bush Has Eye on Legacy and That Plate of Delicious Cookies
• Local Priest Spreads Word of God, Syphilis
• Any Last Requests Before I Suck Out Your Life Force?
• Will You Hug Me?
• The Incredible Short Film Lit Is Now On Google Video
• Rumsfeld Preemptively Attacks Spider in Garage
• Just Because I Eat Children Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Love Them
• Citing Executive Privilege, Bush Avoids Dentist Appointment
• Report: Jesus Christ, A Lot of People Want to Kill Us
• Gonzales Tells Committee, “I Like Horses”
• Cheney Eats Constitution
• President to Outline Plan to Outline Plan
• President Announces National Mediocre Spelling Week
• President Continues to Excel at Vacation
• Polls Show Bush Less Popular Than Death
• Bush: Bolton Should Be Confirmed on Basis of Moustache Alone
• Bush Told on Thursday What He Did Wednesday
• Pigeons Flying Over White House Will Be Shot Down
• Bush, Putin Make Out, Fight, Make Out
• Boring Current Wars Hindering Ability to Fight Exciting New Ones
• Bush: Killing Some Chinese Would Lower Gas Prices
• President: Let’s Count Two Poor People As One
• President’s Approval Drops; Terror Alert Should Come Thursday
• Straight Idiots Free to Marry, Reproduce at Will
• Abstinence-or-Bestiality Policy Proposed for Teens
• Overweight Volunteers Patrol Arizona Border, Defend Nation by Sitting
• CIA: We Don’t Share Information With The Poopy-head FBI
• Bush OKs Free Speech in Designated Guarded Areas
• Jesus: You Guys Fucking Suck
• DeLay Solders Church and State Together in Midnight Ceremony
• Bush to Save World, Drill It For Oil
• President Still Best at “Pick an Awful Nominee”
• Nader Enters Fifth Grade Student Council Election
• Bush Will Pay French to Stop Calling Him ‘Le Ass’
• 3 People Still Have Faith in President, Administration
• Alcohol Still The Best Solution
• Bin Laden Email to Rice About Attacks Caught in Spam Folder
• Cheney Injures Larynx Laughing Diabolically
• The Union Is Bitchin’
• Bush to Increase Money for War Dead, War Dead
• Democrats Hunt for Balls
• Administration Confidence in Awe, Shock Still High
• Bush Does Math in Press Conference; Universe Implodes
• Rice Searches Between Seat Cushions for Integrity
• Joan Baez, Santana, CSN to Play Inaugural Love-Fest
• Wal-Mart Employees Breathe Freely, Often Move at Will
• Brave President Boldly Confronts Class-Action Lawsuits, Saves Country