Vice President Dick Cheney said today that he has no plans to leave his secret chamber, located somewhere within or near the White House, once Barack Obama begins his term as U.S. President in late January.
Jeremy Montross, a stupid person from Michigan, was disappointed with the outcome of the election.
President Bush said he was “very disappointed” to learn that he will likely not be receiving any of the $3,000 security deposit he put down when he took over the White House in January of 2001.
Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales showed up at the Robert F. Kennedy Department of Justice Building disguised as current Attorney General Michael B. Mukasey.
President Bush said he was “shocked” by the expectations of a United States president as outlined in the position’s job description.
Over the past several weeks, White House Switchboard Chief Operator Mary Brontson says the switchboard has received up to a dozen prank calls a day from former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.
President Bush said the bill’s passage is urgently needed to protect the nation from another terrorist attack.
Across California, dozens of same-sex couples took vows and married today, then immediately prepared for the invasion of straight couples’ homes.
“It was so weird,” Mr. Bush said during an interview with a German newspaper, to be published next week.
President Bush vowed today to finish the Wally Lamb novel “She’s Come Undone” by the time he leaves office in January, 2009.
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