Shortly before the House recessed yesterday, Republican Congressman Ander Crenshaw of Florida suggested that Congress might better understand whether the much-debated practice of waterboarding was torture, if the Congress was treated to a demonstration of a simulated drowning, using House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as the fill-in for a detainee.
President Bush today announced the formation of a new House committee, the main function of which will be to condone the actions undertaken by the executive branch by holding up their end goals as justification.
President Bush today signed a bill which folds the Department of Education into the Department of Defense.
Visiting Whatman Elementary School to promote after-school literacy programs, President Bush warned the children there that they are in, “Grave, never-ending danger.”
White House Press Secretary Dana Perino announced a White House proposal today that would entail, “an immediate and total withdrawal from all responsibility for the problems the country faces.”
President Bush delivered his final State of the Union address in iambic pentameter, a particular type of meter, used most often in poetry and drama.
In his final State of the Union speech tonight, President Bush plans to say he’s returning the United States of America to the British.
More and more lately, Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s wife, Joyce, is finding her husband in the basement giving pretend press conferences to no one.
President Bush was forced to chastise members of his cabinet today for showing up to meetings solely for the free pizza given out by the president, then making up excuses to leave.
President Bush addressed the nation tonight to say he had ordered the United States military to, “Strike the fluctuating, unreliable U.S. economy before it can do any more damage.”
Democratic and Republican members of Congress pledged to battle the growing economic crisis facing the country with swift, meaningless action.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) was arrested and detained briefly by Capitol Hill Police officers today for allegedly opening his coat and showing other senators and members of Congress his economic stimulus package.
