Cheney Asks if He Can Be Secretary of Evil

Washington – Vice President Dick Cheney asked Vice President-elect Joe Biden of Delaware about the possibility of serving in the Obama administration as Secretary of Evil. The two men and their wives met at the White House Thursday. This morning, Biden told reporters about Cheney’s request.

“He just came out and asked me,” Biden said. “He just said, ‘Hey, Joe, what do you think about me in the adminsitration?’ And I said, ‘In what capacity?’ And he said, ‘I was thinking Secretary of Evil. You guys don’t have anyone like that right now.’ And I said, ‘No, we don’t, Dick. No, we don’t.’ And I told him I would certainly pass along his message to President-elect Obama and see what he says.”

Secretary of Evil has never been a cabinet-level position in any U.S. president’s administration. Experts said it was unlikely that Mr. Obama would create an entirely new post, especially one that would be filled by a member of the outgoing Bush administration.

Mr. Cheney could not be reached for comment, but President Bush, told of Mr. Cheney’s desire to serve in the Obama administration, said, “Oh, Secretary of Evil? Oh, he’d be great at that. That’s kind of what he is now. But what about me, though? I think I could help them, too. I’d be willing to serve, help out. Maybe, uh, maybe Secretary of Snacks or something. How about that? Do they have one of those?”