Old habits die hard when you’re desperate, and prone to believing that commercial advertising is actually hard news. The fact that he sold his last stock months ago to keep the cable TV turned on, attests to his adherence to the mantra, “what’s good for Wall Street, is good for the homeless too”.

Joe Peanut Butter: “Well, first of all, the silicon you’re talking about is the memory in the chips on the motherboard inside that other box, sir. That one’s sort of what we refer to as…your computer. That’s where the memory sort of is, sir. But, the short answer to your question, sadly, is…no, not exactly.”

Mr. Shenk: “I knew that!”

If you ask them “do you know what time it is?”, their answer invariably is “yes”. Then you ask them, “well then, can you tell me what time it is”, and they of course again answer…”yes”. They aren’t able to get a whole lot deeper than that…sadly.

All this to say, dude, this is a P A R O D Y site. Like…irony…spoof…exposing right wing insanity for what it is, by pretending to be a wing-nut, but you really aren’t, because you’re a creative, talented, and informed political satirist. You really outta get out of that box a little more often dude.

NOW…if you are actually a parody genius too, and I took your rant too literally and you in fact do get it, and are an 11 dimensional chess master playing an “anti-role” just as Henry does, then I’m the fool and maybe I need to break out of my box a little more often too. If that’s the case…my bad…never mind…you got me good! If not, I recommend that you become familiar with a handy little tool called a “box cutter”.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that our populace as a whole has been dumbed down to an IQ level that is so severely anemic, an actual sack of doorknobs (literally) recently scored significantly higher on the Stanford-Benet Intelligence Test than that of the national norm! This study conforms to a high degree of statistical validity, with a deviation from the mean of a mere .0002 percent.

In other words, we have indeed become a nation of blunderers, combination plates short on tacos, rice, AND beans, and boxes of pencils that are full to the brim, with nary a sharpened tip among the lot.

Here’s how his day starts for the prototypical American:

“I just woke up. I have a thought. I’m the prototypical American genius in my own mind. I’ve just decided that we should go to war with 3…hell, why not make that 4…or 5 countries that are far, far away, that have never done a thing to us other than build their houses on OUR oil and resources (the bastards!). Damn right! And while we’re on a roll, why don’t we just borrow the money to pay for this from countries that don’t have nukes, or as many nukes as we do?”

Having done a full day of productive heavy thinking, I’m now ready for breakfast. Tomorrow, I’ll figure out why other people hate us for our freedoms…can you believe the nerve of those guys?