Creationist Archaeologists Uncover Remains of First Evolution-Denier

Creationist archaeologists are abuzz with the discovery of remains that appear to belong to the first person to write extensively about the necessity for a literal reading of the Bible’s Book of Genesis and its story of how the world was created.

An artist’s rendition of what Samuel Halevi, regarded as the first well-known evolution denier, might have looked like.

Samuel Halevi, a Jew living in Spain in the late 11th and early 12th century, was a scholar who wrote several essays examining many books of the Bible. Halevi believed the Book of Genesis was to be read literally, that the world was created in six 24-hour days by God. Halevi maintained that the creation of the world occurred in 3952 B.C., and that the Earth could not have existed before then.

“We know this to be true,” Halevi wrote. “We know it as one knows something without a doubt, such as the fact that they are a human being. We know that God created the Heavens and the Earth in a very busy six days, and on the seventh day, he rested. This is easy to understand, because it is logical and sensible. If I had spent six days creating the entire Heavens and the Earth, I would also rest.”

Alex Deck, the head archaeologist at Belief Discoveries, the team of Creationist archeologists that discovered the remains, could hardly contain his joy when reached by telephone.

“We are ecstatic about this find, absolutely,” Mr. Deck said. “Samuel Halevi is a monumental figure in the history of Creationism, and the discovery of his remains allows us to trace the history of Creationism farther back than ever before. Considering the world is only 6,000 years old, finding someone who lived in the 11th Century takes us almost half the way back to the very beginning of it all.”

Halevi lived from 1051 to 1127, and his essays analyzing various books of the Bible were widely read and debated. He is seen as a role model for today’s Creationists, specifically those practicing Young Earth Creationism, who take the Hebrew text of Genesis as a literal account of the world’s creation.

“He set the stage for all of us that followed him,” Deck continued. “He was hugely important. Without him, we may not have known children interacted peacefully with the dinosaurs near the Garden of Eden.”

Once the remains have been studied and cataloged, Mr. Deck hopes to display them in the Creation Museum, located in Petersburg, Kentucky. The museum currently has an exhibit showing Adam and Eve playing with their pet Stegosaurus.