July2007

The National Protrusion.com

Just Because I Eat Children Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Love Them

by Laura Bush

Citing Executive Privilege, Bush Avoids Dentist Appointment

The appointment had been made nearly four weeks ago by President Bush’s personal secretary.

Report: Jesus Christ, A Lot of People Want to Kill Us

Washington – A report released today by the National Intelligence Estimation Committee of Oversight of Intelligence Estimation claims that more people than previously thought want, “All Americans wiped off the face of the Earth. Even Native Americans.”
The report cited the continued threat of Al Qaeda, both Al Qaeda Classic, the type which attacked the United [...]

Gonzales Tells Committee, “I Like Horses”

Appearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales responded to all questions with the phrase, “I like horses.”

Cheney Eats Constitution

Vice President Dick Cheney said he needed something to cleanse his pallet after a particularly heavy first course, so he grabbed the United States Constitution and devoured it.