President Bush threatened to veto a workplace health care bill proposed by leading Democrats Friday, unless those Democrats were able to guess how many fingers the president had held up behind his back.
The former New York Mayor’s actual skin, seen today for the first time publicly, is red and scaly.
“We hate the soldiers, and freedom, and the American way of life,” a statement released by Moveon.org said.
“My fellow Americans, tonight I bring you good news,” Bush said. He then reached under his desk and pulled out two puppets, one red, one blue.
A top U.S. General in Iraq testified that he does know for a fact that the surge occurring in his pants is achieving its desired results, and then some.
The Senator has admitted he was in the office at the time of Ms. Umbert’s death, and that no one else was in the room with the two of them.
Former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer is, according to the man himself, “settling in nicely,” to his new role as a professional asshole.
Aides to the president say the internal battle is having an effect on Mr. Bush.
Local priest Jonathan Goodell has not only spread the Word of God to this small, tight-knit community; he has also spread syphilis to the dozens of children he has molested.
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