December2007

The National Protrusion.com

Clinton Vows to Pretend to Fight Status Quo

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton vowed to, “Pretend to fight the status quo that exists in Washington. I know that’s what the people of America want, and I intend with every fiber of my being to act like I’m doing that.”

I Want To See More Women At The Polls, Preferably Without Clothing

by Bill Clinton

NBC to Air “Can These Color Bars Last An Hour?” Wednesday Nights

The National Broadcasting Company announced today that, beginning January 9th, its Wednesday night prime-time lineup will feature the new reality show, “Can These Color Bars Last An Hour?”

Terrorist Disappointed His Amazon.com Search for Cesium-137 Returns No Results

A young terrorist said he is, “Disappointed and surprised,” that popular online retailer Amazon.com does not return a single listing for cesium-137.

Ahmadinejad Demands U.S. Give Him Moist Piece of Cake

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad demanded in a speech today that he receive, from the United States, “The most moist piece of cake that there is.”