Democrats Promise Not to Make Noise While Republicans Are Working
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said today that Democrats in the Senate will do their best from now on not to “make any noise or otherwise disturb hardworking Senate Republicans.”
McCain Invades Iran Himself
Presumptive Republican presidential candidate John McCain flew an F-18 Hornet into Iranian airspace today and dropped several 2,000 lb. bombs on what he thought were important military targets. The bombs were actually dropped into a cluster of camels in an otherwise abandoned stretch of desert.
McCain Opposes Newest McCain Proposal
Presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain said today he “strongly opposes” a proposal made by John McCain regarding nuclear energy.
New FISA Bill Grants Cheney Unlimited Use of Your Cell Phone
President Bush said the bill’s passage is urgently needed to protect the nation from another terrorist attack.
Gay Couples Marry, Prepare to Invade
Across California, dozens of same-sex couples took vows and married today, then immediately prepared for the invasion of straight couples’ homes.
Bush Tries to Shore Up Legacy by Performing Piccolo Concerts
This new tactic was first unveiled Wednesday, during a meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
Bush Wakes From ‘Crazy Dream’ Where He Was President For Seven and a Half Years
“It was so weird,” Mr. Bush said during an interview with a German newspaper, to be published next week.
McCain Hires Anti-Lobby Lobbying Firm
For his part, Senator McCain sees no hypocrisy at play in his hiring of the firm.
Report: Administration Misled in Run-up to Lying
A Senate panel’s report says the Bush administration misled Americans in the run-up to the lying to Americans that took place shortly thereafter.
Obama Admits He Loves to Appease in His Spare Time
Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama admitted today that “in my spare time, I love to appease.”
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