September2009

The National Protrusion.com

Experts: Giant Death Ray Likely Not Meant for Research

Though Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad insists that the Giant Death Ray found to be under construction in an underground lab in an undisclosed location in the Syrian desert is meant only for research and telecommunications, experts say its purpose is much more nefarious: it means to cause death to as many people as possible.

Iran Will Only Meet with U.S. if U.S. Representatives Get Nothing to Drink

Iran’s Foreign Minister announced today that a precondition for any bilateral meeting between Iran and United States would necessitate “nothing delicious or cold for the Americans to drink.”

The Pointy Point: Investigate the CIA?

Attorney General Eric Holder a special prosecutor to investigate the harsh interrogations of prisoners by the CIA. But what kind of investigation will it be?

Sources: Grassley May Be Biased Against Public Health Plan Because He’s Already Dead

“He doesn’t understand the perspective of living people, and I almost got the feeling he held it against them that they need medical attention.”

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