I Want To See More Women At The Polls, Preferably Without Clothing

by Bill Clinton

People often wonder why the Democrats keep losing elections. Well, one segment of the voting public that would almost certainly help the Democrats is unmarried women. In the 2000 presidential election, only 52% of unmarried women voted (versus 68% of married women). And anyone who knows anything about politics knows that it’s likely the majority of these women will vote Democratic, should they make it to the polls on election day.

This brings up another point. In addition to coming out to the polls, I would prefer it if, when they come, the unmarried women could not be wearing any clothing. I’m not sure how that would help the Democrats exactly, but it’s just something I would like to see: a large group of naked, unmarried women, all congregated in one place. Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know.

Getting back to voting, I wonder what the reason is that such a large percentage of unmarried women don’t vote. And you know what? I think I already know the answer: the burden of clothing. If these women didn’t have to spend time deciding what to wear, or shopping for new clothes, they could spend more time studying the issues, and coming out to their polling places - without clothing.

I guess my two points are really one point: unmarried women need to get out and vote, and they need to not be wearing anything when they do it. I don’t know about you, but it sure seems simple to me.