McCain’s Sarah Palin Bounce and Aerial Wolf Hunting – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
September 8, 2008
The Mack Truck discusses a very personal reason that he shares Sarah Palin’s support for hunting wolves. A transcript follows the jump.
HENRY: Yes, this is The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show. Welcome.
McCain is up in the polls, thanks to the Sarah Palin bounce.
First caller is Alan from Lancaster. Alan, go ahead.
CALLER: Yeah, I think Palin’s just a complete sham. She’s not what she says she is.
Like, on the environment. She’s not Green. She’s in favor of hunting wolves from helicopters.
HENRY: So? So am I.
CALLER: You’re in favor of hunting wolves from helicopters?
HENRY: I’m in favor of hunting wolves from anywhere.
What’s so great about wolves?
They eat people.
You know, I wasn’t going to go into this, because it’s a very intensely personal story, but my grandmother, when I was a boy, was eaten by a wolf.
There I was with my basket of goodies for grandma, walking through the forest, and when I get to Grandma’s house, there’s no grandma; there’s just a wolf.
CALLER: That’s “Little Red Riding Hood.”
HENRY: He ate my grandmother. Imagine that. Imagine being told that a wolf ate your grandmother. Imagine being told by the wolf.
Terrible.
CALLER: That’s a children’s story. It’s a fairy tale.
HENRY: Well, to this child, it was very real, my friend. Very real.
It was no fairy tale. No children’s story. Oh, yeah, what a great story. Remember the one about when Grandma got eaten? Tell me that one again, mommy. Tell me how she’s in the small intestine, being digested. I love that story.
CALLER: This is insane.
HENRY: I say get ‘em, and get ‘em good. And this one’s for grandma, you sons of bitches.
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I feel your pain, Mack Truck. One of those bastard wolves blew down my Aunt Petunia’s house a few years ago. I told her it was a bad idea to build a house out of straw, but she’s on a fixed income and wanted to save a few bucks. She sure is paying the price now, though. She couldn’t really afford to rebuild after that wolf came along, and her new place is a pigsty.
Comment by Dr. McStupid — September 8, 2008 @LOL – this is great — Who says you can’t be a green hunter
jk
Comment by Annie Lukowski — September 13, 2008 @Henry, my heart goes out to you as it does to the other members of the support group that I run for Survivors of Canus Lupis Carnivora Familial Bereavement…that is, those who have survived the loss of a loved one to those heinous gray wolf mother f—ers. You may be surprised to learn that this is a fairly common trauma that occurs often, even among city dwellers. If you need help please contact me and come to one of our meetings. Most importantly, don’t forget to bring your hunting rifle since part of the catharsis is to blast those mothers to kingdom come. It may interest you to know that Sarah Palin is a charter member of our group. Unfortunately, helicoptors not included but you can bring your own. Heal well Mr. Harvey, and may God bless.
Comment by Help Us All — November 14, 2008 @You guys above are all missing out on the real issue here. As an M.B.A. — OK, call me a bean counter if you must — but there is a whole other dimension to this wolf problem other than all this namby pamby emotional breakdown junk about losing a loved one or two to these vicious eating machines. I do agree that they must be wiped off the face of the earth as quickly as is humanly possible, but my thing is about the tremendous financial damage that these furry terrorist devils cause to our economy. That whole distraction about the sub-prime loan disaster was simply a smoke screen put out by those so called animal rights creeps to hide the real cause of our financial dilemma. It’s the wolves stupid!
Comment by MBA's for Wolf Eradication — November 16, 2008 @For example, did you know that when these beasts take out humans there is a very real cost to our gross domestic product? That’s right, the absenteeism caused by vicious wolf attacks on our citizens on an annual basis leads to a $304.6 billion dollar loss to innocent employers! That’s “B” as in “Billion”. This figure only accounts for injuries & disabilities to employees and doesn’t even take into account the loss to employers caused by having to hire and train new workers to replace those who are completly eaten and thus never recover to eventually return to the workplace. This is a serious problem we have here.
Here’s are a few additional shocking statistics: 1. 1 out of every 3 children are assaulted by wolves by the time they reach the age of 18…that is…if they ever do reach the age of 18, and I know that you know what I mean by that. 2. Every 3 out of 5 adults to make it to age 75 has at one time or another had a limb or two ripped off their bodies by wolves, and out of those, only a third have had them successfully sewed back on. 3. The only good wolf is a dead wolf (alright, I know that’s not a statistic, but it’s a feel good thing to say, OK?!). 4. The total number of Nobel Prizes, Pulitzer Prizes, and humanitarian missions attributed to wolves totals exactly 0, as in “zero”. Does anything more need to be said about this very real problem? We’re agreed then — everyone grab your assault rifles, Apache helicoptors with smart missles and bombs, and let’s get those bastards now before they ruin our entire economy!