Economy

The National Protrusion.com

Obama Meets with Bank Executives to Ask for Better Pin Number

July 13, 2009

Washington – President Barack Obama met with the CEOs of some of the nation’s major banks at the White House to ask them for a better pin number for various personal accounts of his. According to meeting participants, the president said he was unhappy with his current pin numbers, which he called “run-of-the-mill and random.”

“I was assigned the pin by the bank, like everyone else,” the president is quoted as saying to Vikram Pandit, CEO of Citibank, by a participant in the meeting. Mr. Obama holds a savings account with Citibank. “And then when I tried to change it, to 44-1600 — because I’m the 44th President of the United States and I work at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I was told that pin number was taken by some guy named Larry in Connecticut. Now, I’m fairly certain Larry isn’t the President of the United States. So, I’m also fairly certain that it won’t be a problem to work this out.”

Mr. Obama holds several accounts with other banks, whose executives were also present. According to participants in the meeting, Mr. Obama asked each executive to give him the same pin number for all of his accounts.

One executive, who requested anonymity for fear of upsetting the White House and the president, said, “I thought we were meeting to go over details of how we plan to pay back the money we were lent by the government. But I guess…I guess we really were called here to talk about the president’s pin numbers.”

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One Response to “Obama Meets with Bank Executives to Ask for Better Pin Number”

  1. You really got me good this time Mr. Protrusion. I was so sure you were spoofing the obviously fictitious name “Vikram Pandit”, CEO of Citibank, as a take-off on the more accurate wording “Viking Bandit”. Good God! I Googled it and I’ll be damn if that isn’t a legit name, but I wouldn’t put it past these guys if this turns out to be an “AKA” and yet another ripping joke on us indentured neo-suckers.

    Perhaps the next CEO of Goldman Sachs should re-name himself “Robbin’ Baron”, or maybe “Lyke Steeling”, or “Givme R. Munny” (now!).

    Who in their right mind would walk around with such a moniker, let alone actually BE the CEO of one of our “too big to care”, “too special to share” mortgage traunchers who are eating their way through the soft underbelly of the remnants of our forsaken Constitution? Really, this is just too much!

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