Sarah Palin Offers Husband Todd to GOP in Bizarre Sacrificial Ceremony

Phoenix, Arizona – In an unusual sacrificial ceremony, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin offered her husband Todd to GOP leaders in exchange for a political future within the party. “I give you my husband Todd,” Palin told the crowd of GOP leaders, mostly men in suits, some foaming at the mouth. “I give him to you in the hope that he will be seen as a worthy exchange for a place for me within your great party. I believe the exchange is more than fair. Todd is a healthy, athletic man, who is also a snowboarding champion. You’re getting a bargain, in my opinion.”

Governor Palin, whose political future is in doubt following Barack Obama’s victory in the presidential election, was hoping to cement a future within the Republican party, where many consider her a star. Some analysts also believe she may have offered her husband as a way of atoning for what amounted to her negative strain on the party’s ticket.

Todd Palin could not object to the offer by his wife, as he was tied to a spit and gagged. He seemed agitated and flailed about continuously while his wife spoke to the crowd. Off to the side of the podium where Governor Palin stood, a GOP staffer was readying a fire.

“So take him now, great GOP members,” she concluded. “And I ask you for a seat at your table. It’s a great table, and one that, if you accept my offer, my husband will be on top of very soon.”

Filed in: Politics

Tags: 2008 election, GOP, sarah palin, todd palin

by Jerome Halligan