Cheney Refuses to Set Timetable for Withdrawal from White House
Vice President Dick Cheney said he will refuse any attempt to impose “unwise, politically-motivated timelines” for the Bush administration’s withdrawal from the White House.
Gonzales Shows Up at Justice Department Dressed as Mukasey
Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales showed up at the Robert F. Kennedy Department of Justice Building disguised as current Attorney General Michael B. Mukasey.
Bush Asks NASA Engineers to Transport Him Back to 2002
President Bush asked the top NASA administrator if his team of engineers could “get me back to 2002, like maybe January.”
Gonzales Keeps Prank-Calling White House
Over the past several weeks, White House Switchboard Chief Operator Mary Brontson says the switchboard has received up to a dozen prank calls a day from former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.
Report: Administration Misled in Run-up to Lying
A Senate panel’s report says the Bush administration misled Americans in the run-up to the lying to Americans that took place shortly thereafter.
Barney Regularly Consulted on Foreign Policy Matters
Newly-released documents reveal that Barney, one of President Bush’s two dogs, has been regularly consulted on issues of foreign policy and international relations.
Rove Searching for New Unqualified Politician to Work With
Rove is not sure he’ll ever find a specimen as ideal as George W. Bush, whom Mr. Rove met when they were both young men.
Rice Traded to France for a Functionary To Be Named Later
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was traded to France today for a functionary to be named later and several bureaucratic draft picks.
Bush Announces Formation of Ends Justify The Ways and Means Committee
The main function of the new House committee will be to condone the actions undertaken by the executive branch by holding up their end goals as justification.
Rumsfeld Holds Imaginary Press Conference in Basement
More and more lately, Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s wife, Joyce, is finding her husband in the basement giving pretend press conferences to no one.
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