Many In Bush’s Cabinet Coming To Meetings Just For Pizza
President Bush was forced to chastise members of his cabinet today for showing up to meetings solely for the free pizza given out by the president, then making up excuses to leave.
Cheney: Yoga Has Changed My Life
Vice President Dick Cheney said today that practicing yoga has changed his life, given him, “a new perspective,” and calmed him down.
Ari Fleischer Settling In To New Role As Professional Asshole
Former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer is, according to the man himself, “settling in nicely,” to his new role as a professional asshole.
Rumsfeld Preemptively Attacks Spider in Garage
Rumsfeld shouted, “I’ll see you in Hell,” then crushed the spider with a workboot.
Gonzales Tells Committee, “I Like Horses”
Appearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales responded to all questions with the phrase, “I like horses.”
Cheney Eats Constitution
Vice President Dick Cheney said he needed something to cleanse his pallet after a particularly heavy first course, so he grabbed the United States Constitution and devoured it.
President Still Best at “Pick an Awful Nominee”
President Bush’s streak of picking nominees with precisely the opposite qualifications than what are needed for their respective posts is alive and well.
3 People Still Have Faith in President, Administration
Two of the people were soon found to be the twin daughters of President Bush, and the third person is Samuel Fellmann, a man with a history of mental illness who remains convinced the earth is made of cheese.
Administration Confidence in Awe, Shock Still High
The Bush administration isn’t ready to give up on the nouns “awe” and “shock,” even while admitting the words have not lived up to initial administration expectations.
Rice Searches Between Seat Cushions for Integrity
Asked when she remembered having her integrity last, Rice said she can clearly remember having it when she left the house March 20, 2003.
Email Delivery
Facebook
Email Delivery
Twitter