Obama Fails to Keep Country Safe From Dick Cheney
“I have to look at it honestly and objectively, and when I do that, I see that I haven’t done the job,” the president said.
White House Christmas: Cheney Gives Enriched Uranium Again
At Monday’s annual White House Christmas party, Vice President Dick Cheney surprised no one when he gave everyone on his gift list a block of enriched uranium.
Cheney Refuses to Set Timetable for Withdrawal from White House
Vice President Dick Cheney said he will refuse any attempt to impose “unwise, politically-motivated timelines” for the Bush administration’s withdrawal from the White House.
Cheney Asks if He Can Be Secretary of Evil
Vice President Dick Cheney asked Vice President-elect Joe Biden of Delaware about the possibility of serving in the Obama administration as Secretary of Evil.
Cheney Vows to Remain in Secret White House Cave-Chamber Throughout Obama’s Tenure
Vice President Dick Cheney said today that he has no plans to leave his secret chamber, located somewhere within or near the White House, once Barack Obama begins his term as U.S. President in late January.
In Lab Tests, Anthrax Spores Die When Exposed to Cheney
In secret tests conducted in an underground laboratory, the mere presence of Vice President Dick Cheney rendered anthrax spores incapable of sustaining life.
New FISA Bill Grants Cheney Unlimited Use of Your Cell Phone
President Bush said the bill’s passage is urgently needed to protect the nation from another terrorist attack.
Cheney Embarks on Target-Finding Mission
Vice President Cheney began his tour of potential bombing targets in Montreal today.
Cheney Appoints Special Envoy to Dessert Tray
Following a dinner at the White House last night, Vice President Dick Cheney appointed 19-year-old Donnie Jansen Special Envoy to the Dessert Tray, and quickly dispatched him to “work out the issue of what to have for dessert.”
Ahmadinejad Demands U.S. Give Him Moist Piece of Cake
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad demanded in a speech today that he receive, from the United States, “The most moist piece of cake that there is.”
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