Bill That Would Result in Death of Majority of Americans Falls Three Votes Short in Senate
The bill was defeated in a 52-48 vote. It would have disallowed every American except the top two percent of earners from seeking access to oxygen.
Olympia Snowe Leaving ‘Gang of Six’ to Pursue Solo Career
A publicist for Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine confirmed that the senator is leaving the so-called ‘Gang of Six’ senators to pursue a career forming legislation outside the group.
Insurance Industry Executives Negotiate Health Care Bill While Senate Is On Vacation
Executives from the health insurance industry are negotiating health care legislation in place of vacationing senators, specifically taking up the work of the Senate Finance Committee, according to people with knowledge of the ongoing meetings and members of the committee.
Senate Narrowly Votes Down Gun Measure
The Senate narrowly defeated an amendment that would have allowed people with permits for a concealed firearm in one state to carry that firearm into a different state.
Senator Shitonface Urges Passage of Name-Change Legislation
Senator Walter Shitonface (D-WI) urged his senate colleagues to swiftly pass a bill to ease the process of officially and legally changing one’s name in the United States.
Senator Refuses to Attend Scary Nighttime Sessions
Fearing for his safety, Senator Horris A. Harvey, Republican of Pennsylvania, said today he would not be attending proposed nighttime Congressional sessions aimed at reconciling the House and Senate versions of the economic stimulus package.
Senator Finds Rahm Emanuel Waiting For Him in Darkened Parking Garage
Senator Ben Nelson of Nebraska said today that he had an odd and unsettling late-night encounter with White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel Thursday night.
Republicans Filibuster Democrats’ Lunch Plans
Senate Democrats were shocked when Republican Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina led a filibuster of their proposal to attend T.G.I. Friday’s for lunch.
GOP Bill Would Eliminate Middle Class Income Tax by Eliminating Middle Class Income
Senate Republicans introduced a bill today that would simultaneously eliminate the income tax and the income for the so-called ‘middle class.’
Democrats Promise Not to Make Noise While Republicans Are Working
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said today that Democrats in the Senate will do their best from now on not to “make any noise or otherwise disturb hardworking Senate Republicans.”
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