November 16, 2009
Should Terror Suspects be Tried in U.S. Courts? – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show
The Mack Truck discusses the recent decision by Attorney General Eric Holder to try Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and other terror suspects in U.S. courts.
Play/Download Quicktime version
Transcript:
henry: Yes, this is The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show. welcome.
Like to take a call right now from Robert in Culver City. Robert, go ahead. you’re on with The Mack Truck.
caller: Yeah, I’d like to know what you think of the Attorney General’s decision to try Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and other suspects in New York.
henry: What do i think? I think it’s a terrible idea. An awful idea.
caller: Why do you think it’s an awful idea?
henry: Because it unnecessarily endangers the lives of Americans, the lives of New Yorkers. It’s a terrible idea.
caller: But these are maximum security prisons, they hold the worst kind of criminals. Why can’t they hold a middle-aged terrorist? They hold–
henry: I don’t care if they hold The Incredible Hulk and King Kong at the same time.
caller: Those are fictional characters.
henry: These guys are different. they’re terrorists. They’re terrorists. They’re different. They have terror powers that regular criminals don’t have.
caller: But what can this guy possibly do? I mean, he’ll be in handcuffs and there’ll be armed guards all around–
henry: I don’t know what he could do. He could say a Muslim prayer that turns the handcuffs into sand and the guards into husks of corn. And then, you know what? He’s free to go hook up with his radical Islamist buddies and wage joyous jihad on the streets of new york. Okay?
caller: So you really think these guys have, like, super powers? Something…
henry: I think that’s kind of obvious. I mean, why do you think bin Laden’s been free for so long? Because he can probably shape shift into, like, a hawk or something and fly away from the guys chasing them.
caller: If they have super powers, then why wouldn’t they have escaped already?
henry: Because they were biding their time. They wanted to wait till they got to New York, which is, like, the ultimate prize, before they wage this, like, ultimate jihad plan.
caller: But how did they know Holder would send them to New York?
henry: Uh, the same way they can turn handcuffs to sand and guards to husks of corn.
caller: Which they can’t.
henry: You’d better watch it, buddy. One of these days you’ll be walking along, thinking you’re about to pass some nice, innocent Muslim woman and say hello, and suddenly, you’re a horned toad.
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“mack truck” is so stoopid that he must have brain damage from being hit by one….but, it’s the kind of nonsense we expect from wing-nutties….if ANY “liberal” talk show host said anything as stoopid as this, faux nooze would loop it 24/7 with every “show” (including the “nooze” programs……breaking it down and “ANAL-yzing” it convinced it is a sign from god…or some unknown militia “leader”….pathetic…and this guy gets paid to be this stoopid?…i deserve to be a kazillionaire then……
Makes a lotta sense to me!
Yo commenter #1, “Silverball” above. And just what do you get paid for…working for some kind of think tank for the humor-impaired that requires “absolute concrete thinking”? You know, or actually maybe you don’t, but there are various forms of brain damage some people have such that their thought processes are so rigid, literal, and restricted, that they don’t even know that there is a nuanced world outside of the box, a box they don’t even realize they are living and trapped inside of.
If you ask them “do you know what time it is?”, their answer invariably is “yes”. Then you ask them, “well then, can you tell me what time it is”, and they of course again answer…”yes”. They aren’t able to get a whole lot deeper than that…sadly.
All this to say, dude, this is a P A R O D Y site. Like…irony…spoof…exposing right wing insanity for what it is, by pretending to be a wing-nut, but you really aren’t, because you’re a creative, talented, and informed political satirist. You really outta get out of that box a little more often dude.
NOW…if you are actually a parody genius too, and I took your rant too literally and you in fact do get it, and are an 11 dimensional chess master playing an “anti-role” just as Henry does, then I’m the fool and maybe I need to break out of my box a little more often too. If that’s the case…my bad…never mind…you got me good! If not, I recommend that you become familiar with a handy little tool called a “box cutter”.