In this excerpt from the May 5th episode of The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show, the Truck talks about the Clinton and/or Obama health care plans, and how at heart they boil down to socialism.
An excerpt from the May 4th episode of The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show, in which the Mack Truck discusses the uproar over recent comments made by Senator John McCain.
Podcast versions:
By Hillary Rodham Clinton
Hi, small-town America! You all probably know me by now. Or at least you know what you’ve seen on TV and read in the papers. But do you know the real me? The real person behind the public persona? I’m not sure many people do. So let me tell you straight out: I’m exactly the same as all of you. Except I have millions of dollars, I’m a U.S. Senator, and I’m a former First Lady. And you’re none of those things. But other than that, we’re exactly the same.
How are we the same, you may ask? Well, firstly, I love beer, just like you. I mostly love very cheap beer, in a can. The kind you can get a whole case of for under ten dollars. I also love to watch lots of Monday Night Football while I drink the beer I bought for under ten dollars. Monday Night Football or Nascar. Either one’ll do for me.
I also love guns. I adore them. In fact, I used to shoot them behind my grandfather’s shed, which he built himself. Have I mentioned that? I’m not sure I have. I love sheds. And grandfathers. I especially love sheds that grandfathers build themselves.
I love trucks, also. Big, huge trucks that eat up as much gas as an 18-wheeler and are jacked up real high. I love driving those. I like to drive those after I’ve shot a gun behind my grandpa’s shed, right before heading to the local liquor store and buying beer in a can that costs under ten dollars a case.
Oh, and I love church. And God. There’s nothing better, after a Saturday night drinking a ten-dollar case of beer, then driving a huge truck to the church and praying really hard. My faith is almost as strong as my love for guns and beer and trucks. In fact, it might just be stronger. My faith in God has seen me through some tough times. You? Yeah, I thought so. I thought we had that in common, too.
See? I love all the things that you love. I do all the things that you do. I feel the same way you do about this country. I’m just like you. Heck, I am you. So how can you not vote for me, when a vote for me is really a vote for you?
Washington – Seeking to address the worsening U.S. financial crisis, President Bush said today that the nation could have the 52 cents he found on the floor of one of several armored limousines used for presidential travel. “I was going to use it to get some chewing gum or something like that,” Mr. Bush said from the South Lawn of the White House. “But then I thought, ‘No. I’ll give it to the Nation. They need it more than I do at a time like this.’ Plus, you can’t get anything good for 52 cents anyway. Maybe, like, 10 pieces of Bazooka.”
Asked if he was offering any further solutions towards easing the crisis, Mr. Bush thought for a moment and said, “Uh, no. This is it for now. But I don’t know if you heard me when I said the Nation doesn’t have to pay this back. It’s a gift. No strings attached.”
A reporter pointed out that with a U.S. population of roughly 300 million, 52 cents isn’t going to go very far, when divided up among everyone in the country.
“Well, what does that mean, I shouldn’t do it?” Bush retorted. “If you can save a cat in a tree, do you not do it because you’re…you’re not going to make enough of a profit? No. You save the cat. You always save the cat.”
The reporter responded, “Well, Sir, it works out to roughly 1.73 times 10 to the negative 9 cents per person, to be more precise.”
Bush responded, “Okay, well, first of all, I have no idea what you just said. And second of all, so what? 52 cents is 52 cents. You know what, how about this – you don’t get your share. Then there’s that much more for everybody else. There’s another 1.73 to the ten-oh-nine or whatever it is, to give to the others. You know, I was going to look through the insides of our other limos, too. But now…now I’m not so sure.”
National Protrusion Television (NPTV) is proud to announce its partnership with popular conservative radio host Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey. The National Protrusion will post excerpts from the show, which are also available as podcasts on iTunes and via the links at the bottom of this post.
Podcast versions:
4-25 Henry "Mack Truck" Harvey Show - Obama's Supporters: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
4-25 Henry "Mack Truck" Harvey Show: Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadBy Barack Obama
It’s become increasingly obvious to me that one of the reasons I’m not getting a higher percentage of the vote in some of the Democratic primaries may be that people are confused by my message - my message of Hope. I know it sounds simple enough. I thought it was a pretty basic, universally understandable concept. I thought people understood. Apparently, I was wrong.
I think the main problem is that Americans have gone so long without having any hope, that they’ve simply forgotten what it is. What’s more, they’ve forgotten such a word ever existed. As a result, they have no idea what I’m talking about, when I talk about Hope.
Allow me to give an example. A woman in Pennsylvania came up to me outside a diner, and asked me why I was spreading the message of the Pope. She said, “Don’t we have enough religion rammed down our throats as it is?”
I told her “No, no. I respect the Pope, but my message is the message of Hope.”
She said, “What? The message of rope?”
I said, “No, the message of Hope.”
“Nope?”
“Hope.”
“What? Dope?”
I said, “No, no. The message of Hope. Hope.”
And on and on it went. It should be no surprise I lost Pennsylvania.
So perhaps it’s time for a little refresher course in the meaning of Hope. Merriam-Webster defines Hope as “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.” Now, I know it’s been a long time for you, the American people, since your desires have been fulfilled. Believe me, I don’t blame you for forgetting the meaning of a word so seldom used in the America of George W. Bush and his administration. So might I suggest you take a moment or two to study up on the word a bit, and the accompanying concept. That way, there won’t be any more confusion about my message, and everyone will know where I stand. Otherwise I may have people coming up to me in Indiana asking why I’m spreading the message of Soap.
